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Thursday, June 06, 2002

Lights, Camera, Action

When you buy a video camera, it should come with two very big warning labels. 1) Do not videotape yourself having sex. 2) Do not videotape yourself committing a crime. This should be common knowledge, but no, we are constantly seeing reports that some actress is upset because a videotaped love session is showing up on the internet. Do you want to make sure that doesn’t happen… don’t videotape yourself. It’s simple. And the second one: for god sakes people, just put the noose around your neck instead.

These rules should just be common sense. But time and time again we hear about someone who didn’t follow them. Let’s take the latest example: R. Kelly. Now Mr. Kelly made the mistake of videotaping himself having sex and of course the tape got out. So now the world can see just how little he does during sex. From what I heard, this is one of the most boring tapes ever made. Supposedly he just lies there through the whole thing.

But that’s not the big mistake Kelly made. It seems that the woman he was with… wasn’t a woman. She was a 14-year-old girl. Now it’s bad enough he videotaped sex. But with an under-aged girl is sick. He basically filmed himself committing a crime. And now that tape is going to be used against him. There are times like these I pray that we aren’t the most intelligent race in the universe.