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Friday, March 29, 2002

Did We Need the Second Screwing?

Normally what causes me to rant is something I see that pisses me off or makes me wonder. This one comes from a TV show. I was watching The King of Queens and one of the characters started talking about why we have two types of screws and screwdrivers. This started running around in my head like a pinball, bouncing other thoughts around and taking over my every waking moment. Why do we need two screws?

Who was Phillips and why would he want to create a second screwdriver? The reason could be that the old ‘slot’ head screwdrivers have a tendency to slip out of the groove. Fine. Phillips creates a better screw/screwdriver so let’s get rid of the old one. Who are the people trying to hang on to this antiquated technology? What about the health risks posed by the slot-head screwdrivers? You’re turning away and that bad boy slips out of the groove and whamo, right in the eye. Your vision is permanently damaged because Craftsman has ignored Phillips’ life saving advancement.

In most cases, when an advancement is made, we discard the inferior models. I don’t have an Atari 2600 next to my Playstation 2. I got rid of my 1974 Ford Maverick a long time ago when I upgraded to T-birds and now my F-150. I don’t keep my old girlfriend around when I find a new one that performs better (though a lot of guys try). I say it’s time to bury the past, get rid of the antiquated and dangerous tools of old and stride forth into a bright future provided for us by Phillips (not the light bulb guys). Go to your kitchen drawers, take out all you slot-headed screwdrivers and throw them away… but for God’s sake be careful, you can put someone’s eye out with those.